The last fifty years have seen a clear image for decreasing of living on farms. Because the location of the farms is far from active cities, people on that place want to get some benefit from the big cities like studying on their university and the big chance to get a very nice job. Even if living on a farms is better than cities on some cases such as fresh air, no traffic's problems, many people choose large cites.
My parent's farm, where I spent whole my childhood, is amazing. Growing up among the animals such as, cows, pigs and horses, is the best memory. I love this place because of open space and surrounding nature. It's so peaceful. 17 years that I have spent there are the best years of my life, which I will never forget. Although, my parent's farm was incredible, I had to leave this place due two reasons.
Leaving the farm was a hard decision for me. When I was a child, I couldn't imagine living far from my family. Since I had individual dreams, I had to leave my family no matter what the consequences are. Also, the manual work in the farm may not give us a good profit. Therefore, there was a huge demand to change my life. The reasons I didn't want to stay on my family farm were the difficulty of farm work and my desire to learn to program computers.
Farm is a good place where I grow up and spent my happy childhood. I love spent time to play with my friends in field when I was young. Farm is a place that has a lot of great memory, I don't want to leave there. However, life can not control by myself. I want to have high quality life and I also want my parents get good twilight years. I decide to move to big city which has more opportunity to have good job and make my dream come ture. For having a good future and give my parents a happiness old age life, I need move to city.
This starts out as a good anecdote but the thesis doesn't fit the essay which follows. The reason the writer leaves the farm is due to the difficulty of farm work and his desire to learn computers.
There always will be hard choice in people's life. Especially when people reach the so-call turn-point. For me, leaving my parent's farm is one of them. There lot of my happy childhood memories store within the farm. However, after balance every advantage, I choice to leave the farm duel to hard life, poor soil, and needed of advanced education.
I like the content of your writing, which is very thoughtful.
There are a few errors which can be easily corrected. Sentence one and two should be combined into one complex sentence (otherwise sentence two is a fragment).
However, after BALANCING every advantage (gerund follows preposition--we'll do that next week), I CHOSE to leave the farm due to the hard life and THE NEED for an advanced education.
The last fifty years have seen a clear image for decreasing of living on farms. Because the location of the farms is far from active cities, people on that place want to get some benefit from the big cities like studying on their university and the big chance to get a very nice job. Even if living on a farms is better than cities on some cases such as fresh air, no traffic's problems, many people choose large cites.
ReplyDeleteNice funnel introduction. You get extra points for being the first one to post!
DeleteMy parent's farm, where I spent whole my childhood, is amazing. Growing up among the animals such as, cows, pigs and horses, is the best memory. I love this place because of open space and surrounding nature. It's so peaceful. 17 years that I have spent there are the best years of my life, which I will never forget. Although, my parent's farm was incredible, I had to leave this place due two reasons.
ReplyDeleteNice personal anecdote.
DeleteLeaving the farm was a hard decision for me. When I was a child, I couldn't imagine living far from my family. Since I had individual dreams, I had to leave my family no matter what the consequences are. Also, the manual work in the farm may not give us a good profit. Therefore, there was a huge demand to change my life. The reasons I didn't want to stay on my family farm were the difficulty of farm work and my desire to learn to program computers.
ReplyDeleteNice personal anecdote with the reasons stated in your thesis. Raheeb.
DeleteFarm is a good place where I grow up and spent my happy childhood. I love spent time to play with my friends in field when I was young. Farm is a place that has a lot of great memory, I don't want to leave there. However, life can not control by myself. I want to have high quality life and I also want my parents get good twilight years. I decide to move to big city which has more opportunity to have good job and make my dream come ture. For having a good future and give my parents a happiness old age life, I need move to city.
ReplyDeleteThis starts out as a good anecdote but the thesis doesn't fit the essay which follows. The reason the writer leaves the farm is due to the difficulty of farm work and his desire to learn computers.
DeleteThere always will be hard choice in people's life. Especially when people reach the so-call turn-point. For me, leaving my parent's farm is one of them. There lot of my happy childhood memories store within the farm. However, after balance every advantage, I choice to leave the farm duel to hard life, poor soil, and needed of advanced education.
ReplyDeleteI like the content of your writing, which is very thoughtful.
DeleteThere are a few errors which can be easily corrected. Sentence one and two should be combined into one complex sentence (otherwise sentence two is a fragment).
However, after BALANCING every advantage (gerund follows preposition--we'll do that next week), I CHOSE to leave the farm due to the hard life and THE NEED for an advanced education.